And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
