hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
