I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
