At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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