I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize