apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
