Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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