Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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