it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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