So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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