NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
