did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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