you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
