I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
