I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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