Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
