Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
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