I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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