your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
