Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize