I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
