i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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