I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
