in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
