it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
