I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize