I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize