And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
my liver is dry heaving
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
