just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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