It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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