if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize