My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
