I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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