i permit you to call me
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
