Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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