i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
