Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
