I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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