That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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