I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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