I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
