Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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