it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
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