i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
