it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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