Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
