Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
