You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize