Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
