I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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