I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
