I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
