your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
