Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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