Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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