why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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