There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
