Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
