It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
