wrigley field is MILF paradise
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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