You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
