Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
